I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
they're like a gay fantastic four
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
