i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize