You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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