He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
