we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
