It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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