Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
