So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
