She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
