I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
