Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
