I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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