I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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