I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need moral support for this bender
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
