Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
