I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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