How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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