Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
