You're a womanizer and a bitch.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you have to choose: penises or morals?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
