When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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