My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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