Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize