Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
