why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
