oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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