the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
