Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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