So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
