Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
