dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize