no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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