Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
