lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
