They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
