During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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