I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
