Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
