Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The ass gains better be worth it
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