you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
