i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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