That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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