toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
