yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I feel great
I just peed on a car
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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