haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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