i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
