Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
