So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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