my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
