Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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