so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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