I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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