with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
