I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think i got beer on your cat.
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