Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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