he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
